fragments : "The fundamentals of parenting " of GABRIELLA Cappellari, Psychotherapist
The experience of the relationship adult / child is fundamental to growth. Relationality is it specific to each person. The child is from birth socially competent, equipped for the report (immediately gives the answers to the care that the mother figure lends him), you report (claim the presence of the mother figure, it suffers from the absence or deficiency) and thus the bearer of the right to the report (entitled to the presence of the maternal figure).
The experience of the relationship adult / child is fundamental to growth. Relationality is it specific to each person. The child is from birth socially competent, equipped for the report (immediately gives the answers to the care that the mother figure lends him), you report (claim the presence of the mother figure, it suffers from the absence or deficiency) and thus the bearer of the right to the report (entitled to the presence of the maternal figure).
Many years ago, more than fifty, a French neurologist, N. Quemado, discussing issues still alive, considering the mother (the mother figure) and the child as a vital part of a special organization in which each of the two forms and perfects the other . The mother builds ammaternamento because the child possa sentirsi amato, il bambino a sua volta stimola la madre a sentirsi tale, diventa autore del processo di maternizzazione nella madre.
Ma se il bambino, fin dalla nascita, si trova in situazione di non-ammaternamento, si stabilisce per lui una condizione di vita, anche se le cure materiali gli fossero assicurate, carica di conseguenze per lo sviluppo della sua personalità fino all’instaurarsi di turbe psicotiche e vere e proprie psicosi, che possono risultare poi solo parzialmente risolvibili, sempre comunque attraverso l’inserimento in una famiglia accuratamente scelta e lunghi interventi di psicoterapia.
Ma se il bambino, fin dalla nascita, si trova in situazione di non-ammaternamento, si stabilisce per lui una condizione di vita, anche se le cure materiali gli fossero assicurate, carica di conseguenze per lo sviluppo della sua personalità fino all’instaurarsi di turbe psicotiche e vere e proprie psicosi, che possono risultare poi solo parzialmente risolvibili, sempre comunque attraverso l’inserimento in una famiglia accuratamente scelta e lunghi interventi di psicoterapia.
Altrettanto grave può risultare per un bambino l’esperienza di de-ammaternamento, when it is to move away from the mother and "the lack of maternal care following the shock of separation" . Regression and the crowds that follow will depend on the bond proposal that another adult can do to the child.
ammaternamento The concept will, in later years, faced in the studies conducted on attachment who is now universally considered one of the greatest scholars of child development: J. Bowlby . This well-known pediatrician and psychoanalyst, found that children deprived of maternal care manifested a delayed development physically, intellectually and socially, to establish actual physical and mental disorders.
Basic is the attachment in the first months of life when the infant learns to distinguish a particular figure, the mother and develops a strong and recognizable desire to be near her. From six months to three years, the presence of his mother makes him happy, its absence upsets him deeply. Attachment behavior is specific and enduring: it is directed toward one or a few individuals usually in a defined order of preference and persists for most of the life cycle.
the first attacks are not easily abandoned even though they may fade (adolescence) to become complementary to other attachments, and in some cases be replaced. Attachment is therefore a condition in which an individual is bound emotionally to another person perceived as bigger, stronger, wiser.
studies in the field also showed a significant continuity between the model and the attachment of the young child whose mother is trice.Per ¬ port on the report and reflect on attachment that is a prerequisite, we consider what happens between a mother and her newborn child: living in the early days, in a kind of magic circle, what a scholar of children, Daniel Stern, calls "maternal constellation", particular context in which each mother's situation with his child in the continuous exchange that later becomes the prototype of relatedness.
The relationship between mother and child, absolutely essential for the growth of the child, is the result of a series of experiences, each of which must contain three elements: sensory (the child receives), motor (the child is acting) , affective (the child feels the subject of a special interest by the mother). Only under these conditions the individual experiences will be internalized by the child and become part of his mind, letting him experience the sense of an emergent self from birth.
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